How To Overcome The Feeling Of Not Being Good Enough?

We all seek approval and love as children. So we learn to suffocate our true personalities in order to become the 'good' child, at the expense of becoming an adult who never feels valued.

There was a small boy, a kid of around four years old. He used to be full of energy all the time, whatever he looked at; amazed him. Whenever he learned new words or new things he used to come to his momma and exclaim “Momma ! See I got this!”, “See I learned that!” His momma was a very good lady at heart. She wanted only the best for her child. One day the boy came to her and screamed in excitement, “Momma ! See I know that one plus one is two!” he showed his two little fingers to her. Mother saw his smile-lit-cheeks and couldn’t help but smile back at him. She smiled and said, “good now you should learn what is two plus two?”

The boy forgot his happiness on his little achievement and began thinking over what his Momma just said. The boy grew up and one day came home with a soccer trophy in his hand. He again showed it to his Momma with the same child-like excitement. His Momma, the same good-at-heart lady replied, “good now you should focus on your grades.”

Does the story seem familiar to you? Does this not happen to almost everyone in every field/work/relationship? On mostly all of our good days, we have been reminded of our shortcomings, of course for our betterment. And this exactly is where the seed of ‘not being good enough’ gets planted in our subconscious mind. ‘Not being celebrated for’ and ‘endless run for societies’ never-ending expectations’ turns a happy child at heart into an unhappy adult.

Few Tips on How To Overcome The Feeling Of Not Being Good Enough

Celebrate your small achievements! Recognize your small achievements and have a personal celebration for them. Like work done on/before time; waking up on alarm, or even getting the pending work completed. A piece of chocolate or a good dinner for yourself or even a small superhero toy could make your achievement a memory. It is up to you if you want to share it with someone but having a small celebration for yourself will add up a lot to your self-esteem.

Stop comparing! There will always be someone better than you present in the world in the present time. Stop being worried about the comparisons. Understand that they are done only to slow you down. Keep your focus on yourself and your job at hand. This way you will be able to avoid any mental stress/pressure that is loaded on you and thus have good results.

Say I am Enough! Remember the small child in the story. Don’t be that child. Personal positive conversation with oneself is very significant in developing a good self-image thus pulling one out of a not-good-enough self-image. It will not happen overnight but one night it will certainly happen!

Stay Away From Negative People! Once you decide to work on yourself, the first thing you will notice is some people who constantly put you down. Remember the famous quote: It is better to be alone than in a bad company. If you cannot cut them off then at least make a distance from them. You will notice beautiful changes in yourself once you do that.

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